A Bitter Gift

I’m sure that words will never be able to adequately describe the depth of this situation, but using words is what my dear friend does best. Her newborn daughter went home to be with the Lord last month. I admire the strength and unwavering faith Erin has in the comfort of her Savior, with whom her beautiful baby girl is very much alive. I look forward to seeing you someday, Miriam Grace Jacoby.

— Auntie Rissa

Ad Astra

FootprintsOn December 22, 2014, I gave birth to a little girl. She died before she made it into my arms.

She was due today.

One of the things I hate about having a personal blog (or any social media) is having to share moments like these. Part of me wants to skip over it, but that seems crass. I don’t want to give readers the impression that my baby’s birth didn’t affect me profoundly, or that I’m exactly the same person I was before. I’d like to go on from the present as though everyone already knows the context.

But pretending won’t work here. I also can’t bring myself retell my story by writing a separate post. That might have worked a couple of weeks ago, but now I’ve healed enough that I don’t really want to open that wound again. So I’m just transcribing a few excerpts from my handwritten journal. It’s personal, unpolished…

View original post 1,257 more words

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